Evilone4282's Xanga

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 19:32:05 GMT

Controlling One's Temper

A lot of people may not know this about me but I have a pretty bad temper that I keep control of really well. I try to smile it off or not let it get to me because often I just say its not worth it. I think after a while that have been the normal for me and I became somewhat passive and chilled.

But there is a few people and situations that can really get me angry to the point that I can blow up and yesterday I had a case like that. For the sake of my family and to prevent anymore drama, I try to keep my mouth shut and lock myself in my room so I can avoid my grandparent. We are kind of like two chemicals that should not be combined...or literary you will have an explosion.

Well I won't go into the boring details but I was at the point that I was yelling at the top of my lungs and moments away from knocking out my grandparents. I am not exaggerating...I had my fist balled up and I had to bite my tongue to stop. Yeah it hurts when I eat things now.

What pisses me off more than my grandparents is know that they can get me like that. Need to learn more control because one day I doubt I will be able to hold back.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 16:08:33 GMT

What the Helll!!!

Phally:
you need to get ur ass out of the house

Kan:
hahaha man now i know how han feels...its so comfortable being at home all the time
haha...i am getting addicted
work and then home
maybe take nap...eat dinner
play a game, chat a bit, watch a movie and then sleep
so stressless!!

Phally:
you're ready for marriage!!!!

Kan:
HELL NO

Phally:
HAHAHAHA

Re-thinking this marriage business...slowly I don't think I am the marriage type
Single Life Rules!!!

Monday, October 01, 2007

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 16:49:45 GMT

Getting A Part Time Job?!?
Recently I have been doing nothing on the weekend except sleeping and working out in the gym. So with that in mind I thought to myself maybe I should get a part time job and put that spare time to good uses - make a little money on the side. There is an opening at the Apple Store at Montgomery Mall that a good friend can refer me...so it can be a sure thing. Now the question is - Am I willing to give up my weekend? I would be working 4 hours after work on Friday and 8 hours on Saturday and Sunday...so that would be a total of 20 hours a week - not too bad! And since it 20 hours...I would meet the mininum requirement to get some benefits like stock options if I work there long enough.

This is what I would be giving up:
Sleeping In
Lion Dance
Spur of the moment dinners/parties/fun times
Working out on the weekend
Alone-time

Thing is what I would be gaining:
Money/Benefits
Meeting new people
Possible networking

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 15:56:15 GMT

Need Anger?!?
Seems like everythings around me have been moving so fast lately and I am either not able to catch up or I don't care to because thats just putting un needed stress on myself. So what can I do...I hate to have loose end here and there because we all know that it will eventually catch up to us one way or another. Guess all I should do is keep my end of the bargin and see where that takes things. Hmmm...I just don't have a good feeling about alot of things around me and to be honest I can't even describe or put my feeling into words...because atleast then I would be able to talk about it...argh! Oh well I guess I will do what I normally do in such cases...get anger in some way so I can get myself driven to get through what I need to get through. Yeah it's an endless cycle!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 18:22:03 GMT

Reducing My Bulkiness
It really dawned on me that being too bulky doesn't work to my benefit. For one, there is no way I can maintain the muscle I have now because it just take ways too much work and time. Not to mention that I am probably doing more damage than good in the long run when I am benching 300-310 pounds vs 150-225 pounds. Just thinking about the stress I am putting on my body. Second of all, when I get older, I don't want to have a sagging body and man titties when my muslces goes to hell. Third is the fact that I can't pick up my own body...meaning pull-ups and hand stand push-ups...annoys me alot!

So I am changing my routine to do more toning/getting smaller, strengthen the current muscles I have, and increasing the endurance of them. This is my basic workout outline:

Stretch for 10 to 15 mins
Do cardio until I burned 1000+ cal
Stretch for 5 mins
For weights, I will be doing 4 sets of 20 to 15 reps of weights 50% to 60% of my max weight for each type of exercises I do.

But I am keeping one day a week to do max training. I don't want to loose the fact I can bench 300...yeah its a pride and manly thing =P

Been doing this for the past two week. This is a really different type of burn and soreness. Still getting use to it.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 05:39:40 GMT

Living Stress Free By Letting Things Be?!?
For the past 3 months I believe, I have been pretty stressed out because I have been letting things get to me or get involved in stressful situations to help others…yeah I don’t know why. Overall I am emotionally tapped out and drained. And this past Thursday was last straw that broke the camel’s back…three things really got to me and I literally exploded with anger. Yeah it was not pretty!

So what am I going to do now to stop this from happening again?!? Well after talking to my close friend, Phally, and my brother, Han, - I realized that I sometimes place too much effort and thought into things or relationships (friendship, romantic, family, etc) that may not deserve it. That I need to let things flow and if it doesn’t turn out happy and dandy…so be it..life goes on! If things are meant to be then nothing could change that so why try to fucking hard?

Time to live and do what is good for me and a few selected few and if I fuck some people over so be it I guess. I have been a nice guy way to long and to be honest…I felt it hasn’t really gotten me anywhere. The only thing that might get to me is my conscience but hey all I need to do is not to dwell about it…right! I am not saying that I will be a jerk about things but I may seem cold and unfeeling about it.

That's all I have to say right now...just curious of how things will turn out... =P

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 14:47:29 GMT

Cue Ball =P
Yeah some of you guys know that I have always wanted to shave my head bald but never really had the perfect timing for it. But after talking to a friend about it I just said fuck it...enough talk and time for action. So yesterday after gym I raced over to Hair Cuttery and got it done. The really funny part was the person doing it spend a good 10 minutes trying to convince me not to. Saying that I have nice hair, an oddly shaped head, and other things...in other words...it won't look right. But I was like whatever its only hair and it will grow back...no biggie.

Before

After

Brother still in SHOCK!

HEHEHE!!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Wed, 30 May 2007 17:32:56 GMT

A Moment of Peace

Last night I did something that I haven't done probably since last year. I took some time to look at the stars at night. Just sat there in my car with the sun roof open starring and my mind just began to cleared and I was at peace. I didn't think about any of the issues that was troubling me or feel any stress that I felt moments before. It was kind of unexpected to be honest. That was the best 5 minutes of my day.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Thu, 24 May 2007 18:31:30 GMT

Changed Much?!?
I was going through my PORN (haha...jk...=P) and found some old picture of me and my HS friends. I kind of thought to myself that I think I changed alot in looks and personality. As for looks of course I got bigger and fatter but I think I looked more uptight. And as for personality...I feel I was def more positive and less out going... I was still coming out of my shell. I think now I am more realistic and kind of negative. Sort of focus on the negative more than the postive. Sigh...I don't know...whatever! I think entirely way too much...that's one thing i def didnt change on. Curious how I will be in 20 years when I will be 45..my god...I am going to be fucking old hahaha!

Prolly a year old.
Damn I was a chubby baby! **sigh**

Me on my prom night with my date. Should look her up.
Yeah she was my first crush. =)

Me and the HS group.
Man miss those nice and simple days.

And look at me now...jeez I am such a dork! Shoot me! =P

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Tue, 15 May 2007 18:59:26 GMT

Kan…Picky with the Ladies?!?

So far a fair number of my close friends keep telling me that I am picky when it comes to girls. Dude I have never heard something so untrue in my entire life. I mean everyone has their standards and idea of what they look for in their potential and I feel that mines is not that high.

Looks:

Average/middle built - I don’t want a stick but then again don’t want someone that I can’t wrap my arms around.
Face – I think prefer girls with the long faces.
TnA – I am not too particular about this…as long as they are not a flat wall or the other extreme (too much of a good thing can be disgusting)
Big pluses – nice legs, long hair, big eyes, and warm smile.

Personality:

Outgoing/Adventurous
Fairly secure (because I know there is no such thing as “secure” girl)
Well-rounded and Cultured
Funny
Have common sense
Driven
Not afraid to speak her mind and be blunt/aggressive.
Tab bit of old-school thinking because quite honestly…I see myself kind of a traditional and old school guy.

Interest:

I don’t want to female version of me because that would be fucking creepy. It would be great to have someone with other interests other than mines so they can open me up to other things.

But it would be great if they did have an interest in:

Fitness – as you all know practically live in the gym so it would great to have a girlfriend that shares my same passion.
Family – yeah family is so important to me. It’s practically the only reason why my 25 year old ass is still living at home.
Nerdy things - I consider myself a nerd! =P

If I can get a girl that is like 70-80% like this,

I would be a happy man. So is this picky?!?